I do this thing I call "Opposite Action Gets Dressed."
It's exactly what it sounds like: when I'm stuck in a feeling that isn't serving me, I get dressed for the opposite.
A handful of years ago I learned a bunch of DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) skills, and one that stuck with me was Opposite Action—the idea that sometimes you do the opposite of what your emotions are telling you to do. If I feel like withdrawing, I engage. If I feel like hiding, I show up.
Most of the time, though, I don't practice Opposite Action with my behavior. I practice it with my outfit.
Here are a few of my typical Debbie Downer moments and how I fight back with my #ootd.
1. I want to hide under a rock.
Instead, I wear loud colors or something flashy that invites attention.
Without fail, someone comments on it. A conversation starts. Pleasant words are exchanged. That's a much better outcome than hiding under a rock.
Hide → Be seen
2. I'm feeling sorry for myself.
Poor me, right?
No. I'm a lucky duck. But we all have moments when we feel like a loser.
When I'm in one of those moods, I try to poke fun at myself. FBC's Tommy Tees are perfect for that. They practically beg for a joke.
How do you like them apples?
Self-pity → Laugh
3. I feel like a shit show. (AKA: I'm a yard sale.)
A friend in college used to call people a "yard sale" when their life was all over the place. I've never forgotten it because it's such a perfect description.
When I'm feeling like a human yard sale, I reach for my most reliable uniform: a great white shirt.
There's something about a crisp white shirt that suggests a level of organization I may or may not actually possess. Frank & Eileen's poplins make it especially easy since they often come out of the dryer looking surprisingly civilized.
And if I'm truly a yard sale? This little number from Rosie Assoulin adds just enough extra to make me feel like I've got my act together.
Chaos → Structure
4. I feel vulnerable.
Maybe I'm bloated. Maybe one of my kids told me they hate me. Maybe someone criticized my driving (which happens often enough).
My answer is usually a pair of Raffaello Rossi pants and a Go Silk blouse.
They're machine washable, resilient, and recover beautifully from whatever gets thrown at them. I find that oddly inspiring.
Vulnerability → Resilience
5. I'm tired AF.
Red is my personal kick-in-the-pants color.
It's the wardrobe equivalent of three espressos before 10 a.m. For me, it works every time.
Exhaustion → Energy
6. I haven't had a day off in two weeks.
One of the hazards of owning a business is loving your work a little too much.
When I hit this point, I go into full revolt mode and throw on my Frank & Eileen hoodie dress. It's my way of saying, "Yes, I'm here, but mentally I've already started my day off."
It's comfortable, low-maintenance, and a subtle signal to the world that my battery is blinking red.
Overwork → Rebellion/Rest
Sometimes getting dressed gets you halfway there.
And when your outfit is part of the attitude adjustment, it's officially doing double duty.
